Parents will never admit every time their children ask them about it. But there’s a big chance that they do have one favorite child in the family. They will always say they love you all the same, but there will always be one child that they prefer the most.
When you see a child sleeping on the sofa while another child is washing the dishes in the sink, then probably one of them is the favorite.
It’s not about when you were born in this world; you always have this idea that your other sibling might be their favorite. The youngest might think the eldest in the favorite, while the eldest might think the youngest is the most favored.
However, there was a study, which was done in detail, which aimed to know who between the youngest and the oldest is correct.
There were 384 siblings involved in the study, which none of them doesn’t have a four-year age gap or more. A series of questions were asked in order to determine who among them received favored treatment from their parents.
A question was focusing on how they felt toward their parents’ treatment to them. They were asked if there was a significant difference on their parents’ treatment to them when they were growing up. If the participant answered “yes”, they were then given a follow-up question as to how it affected their confidence as they grow up.
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Not only the teenagers were interrogated in the study, but also the parents were asked about how they really feel about their children.
In the part where the parents were questioned, it has been found out they do really have their favorites. But the results were different in the part of the children.
The results of the study revealed that younger siblings always feel they’re being ignored because their parents are favoring the first-born child, or the eldest. It resulted to their self-esteems knocking down and them being unable to cope with their older sibling.
Meanwhile, it has been reported that the older siblings had a sense of self-confidence because they believed they’re ahead compared to their siblings for reaching significant adult milestones – driving, graduating from high school, etc. They also feel superior toward their siblings.
However, older siblings also pointed out that they feel the youngest sibling is the most favored. They thought of this because they’re the first one to play the game and succeed eventually in life.
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Katherine Conger, a member of the University of California, was surprised with the results of the study. She was the research team head who conducted such study.
She and other researchers were also surprised with the results. She made an assumption that the first-born child would be affected by the perception that there’s a different treatment because they’re the older sibling.
The result came from one study, though, so it doesn’t mean it is the same with other families. There are a lot of factors that might lead a child to be favored later. Not all siblings have a better relationship with their parents – some just can’t or don’t know how to relate. There are dynamics in a family, so things are not going to turn out the same.
Many parents experience a lot of mistakes when they raise their first-born child because they are new to the situation and they don’t have enough idea how to do it the easy way. So when the second child arrives, they already have the idea on what to do and things will turn out just fine.
It’s true that your parents may be favoring one sibling over the others, but you don’t have to let this issue bother you. Your parents love you and will always love you until their last breath. Don’t let anger or worry hinder a great relationship you can have with your parents. Family is love.